Colin Tipping

Why We Must Forgive Our Parents



Posted: Saturday, September 06, 2008

by
http://www.radicalforgiveness.com

Few people going through a messy divorce in mid-life would blame their own parents for their predicament. Neither would a business owner betrayed by a trusted partner normally think in those terms. A person who loses his job every five years would also not say that his grandfather was to blame.

Yet there may be some justification for people making just such an accusation, even about the most loving and dedicated parents, step parents or grandparents. Because, the fact is, much of what happens to people in their adult life has a connection to unhealed childhood wounds inflicted by their parents.

Such woundings run the gamut from the most terrible forms of physical and sexual abuse, to a parent showing a very subtle preference for a sibling. From walking out of a child’s life and never contacting him or her again, to making a careless remark or joke that simply hits home. Some of what came to mean so much to a child in his or her later life might have been nothing more than a seemingly innocuous remark. Yet it hurt and it became a limitation.

Children don’t have the emotional skills to deal with pain of this kind, so it tends to get buried. However, the human being’s innate urge to heal any wound, be it of a physical, emotional or spiritual nature, will always look for opportunities to bring that pain to the surface for healing. That’s why the wound will naturally be acted out in later life many times over. The wound will show up as a pattern in one’s life in which one creates a series of events or situations that have qualities about them reminiscent of the event that caused the original wounding.

Once any one of these situations is recognized for what it truly is — an opportunity to heal — then this is when Radical Forgiveness is called for. For over a decade I have been helping people forgive all sorts of situations in their lives using Radical Forgiveness. But seldom is it that their presenting situation does not connect back to an original childhood wound and the beliefs the child formed as a result of it. Examples are: I’ll never be any good; I’m not enough; I am unlovable; I have to be perfect to be loved; I’ll always be second, and so on.

That’s why I have created the 21-Day Program for Forgiving Your Parents. It’s called “Breaking Free." As an internet-based program, it has global reach and is already helping thousands of people all around the world break free from the pain of their childhood and liberate themselves from the kind of negative “I am" beliefs that go with it. Once people have healed their early childhood wounds, their need to create situations that mirror them disappears. They are free to live their lives with their energy invested in the now, not the past. They have literally broken free. This program can be seen and explained at the web site, www.forgiveparents.com.

Copyright 2008 Colin Tipping
Colin Tipping is the acknowledged authority on the application of Radical Forgiveness to the "healing" of individuals, families, races, corporations, and communities. Please go to The Institute for Radical Forgiveness to learn more about Colin and other Radical Forgiveness strategies.
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Top-level comments on this article: (4 total)
» left by Susan Thom
 3 years 156 days ago.
175 fans.
hi colin,
 
welcome,
 
this is a well written and interesting article. i know every word you say, and believe in it whole heartedly. it took me until 38 to start the change, and now i'm 52, and i've come a long way. thanks for sharing, and i hope you continue writing,
 
best regards,
 
sue thom
 
best regards,
 
sue thom
» left by Colin from Atlanta 3 years 155 days ago.
Hi Sue,
 
Thank you for your kind words.  I am very happy that you found the article interesting and hopeful that the progress you have made between age 38 and 52 has included coming to a place of peace, love and acceptance of your parents.  If you are a parent, please have compassion for yourself because there is no such thing as a perfect parent, just as there is no such thing as a perfect child.  But all of that is totally perfect!
 
Blessings,
 
Colin
» left by Anonymous
 3 years 156 days ago.
Very well written and a wonderful reminder about who our parents really are.

Thank you.
» left by Anonymous
 3 years 154 days ago.
I was blessed enough to do the 21 days to forgiving your parents online program. I was thrilled but still skeptical. Believing that nothing would work on her. That she was beyond help and these circumstances would never change. Within three days I was seeing big shifts of energy. I have had some amazing epiphanies.
» left by Barb G
from Atlanta 3 years 138 days ago.
I have been a "raving fan" of Colin and his work for several years now! As a participant in his Miracles Workshop 2.5 years ago, I fully let go of the negative "mom energy" that had dragged me down for years.
 
Now I'm totally excited to endorse Colin's latest program - Forgive Parents - because I cannot think of a single individual who would not benefit. Well, maybe those that had the perfect parenting and childhood, but that's not the reality for a huge majority of us. I encourage you to check out Colin's latest program and sign up! I have no doubt that you will be very glad that you did!
 
--Barb G, Atlanta, GA
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